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I have this bad habit of absolutely hating photos alone. When I was little it was the opposite; I’d beg for another photo twirling, doing a silly face, presenting the huge sand castle I built all by myself. But somewhere in the years all of these insecurities formed; the little bump on my nose I got from falling, the forehead that in all seriousness I joke is actually a fivehead, the freckles all over my face a 3rd grader deemed meant ‘mole face’. I let all of them in and created the worst ones myself. It’s so sad to think that most of us have done the exact same- picked apart every bit of us to the point where we don’t feel comfortable seeing our own reflection alone. Throw in a pregnancy that often makes you feel lost in your own skin and then motherhood where you hardly have any time for yourself and it becomes so easy to let that light of confidence slowly dim. So it’s something that only recently I decided I should pay a little more attention to. To say thank you when I receive a compliment instead of replying in disbelief, to let joshua take photos of me when he’s playing pretend photographer and not immediately delete them, and most importantly to just be a little more conscious of my thoughts, of my words, to allow them to be gentle. Reminding myself that our self love trickles into every single thing we do and the more we focus on loving and respecting ourselves, the more of it we have to give in all that surrounds us too. So today, it’s a photo of just me, because I’m really working on being more okay with that...♥︎ #theemmyangle

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Sharing the BEST apple pie recipe today and it’s even vegan 🤗 We’re on number 4 of the season (read : week) and I don’t think anyone’s too mad about it around here 🙈
Check my stories for the recipe and recipe highlights if you want to save this for later ✨

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Last night I fell asleep with this strong painful feeling that this moment was the last time Joshua would fall asleep in my arms like this. A surreal truth I can’t deny, noticing my arms so numb as his legs dangle down my thigh. Time has somehow snuck up on us these last couple months and it feels like too many lasts I’m just not ready for, that really I may never be ready for. It made me think of this poem I saved from when joshua was barely a couple weeks old, spending the days sleeping on my chest as I tried to memorize every single inch of him... “From the moment you hold your baby in your arms, you will truly never be the same.
You might long for the person you were before,
when you had freedom and time, and nothing in particular to worry about..
But instead you will know tiredness and the days will run into days that are exactly the same..
Feeding and burping,
Whining and fighting,
Naps and lack of naps.
It might seem like a never-ending cycle.
And in the mist of it all, there will be a last time for everything...
There will come a time when you will feed
your baby for the very last time…
They will fall asleep on your chest and it
will be the last time you ever hold you’re sleeping baby…
One day you will carry them on your hip, then set them down,
and never pick them up like that again…
You will scrub their hair in a warm bath one night,
and from then on they’ll ask to bathe alone…
They will hold your hand to cross the road,
then never reach for it again…
They will tip toe into your room at night after a bad dream,
and it will be the last night you sooth them back to sleep..
One afternoon they’ll ask you to sing their favorite song,
and it will be the last time you sing that melody..
You will read a final bedtime story and wipe their sweet face one last time..
They will kiss you goodbye at the school gate,
and the next day walk to the gate alone…

The truth is, you won’t even know it’s the last time until there are no times left.
So while you are living in these moments,
remember there are only so many of them.
For when they are gone, you will yearn for just one more day of them.
For just one last time.” ✨

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If you ask your child what your favorite thing to do is, what would they say?
When Joshua was a baby I read this article about how parents can become so “un-selfaware.” That as our children grow, we slowly stop placing intention on how we spend our time, especially the in between moments we fill with things we can easily put off until later. So they suggested asking your child this simple question, “what’s my favorite thing to do?” ⋅⋅
Since Joshua is old enough now I ask him this question every week… What’s mama’s favorite thing to do? And let me tell you honestly, the cold truth hasn’t always been so easy to hear. “Go on the computer” “Clean” “Work” “Go to the store”. Knowing that he truly believes THAT is my favorite thing to do is a hit to the heart but * it’s been the best reminder throughout the week to do with more intention. To try and save the electronics for nap time, to say yes to reading another book, to remind myself that even on the days I don’t have a lot of time expressing myself and telling him how much I love spending time together is just as important. And since then we’ve had weeks where my favorite thing to do is “cook together” “dance together” and today, “go on adventures together.” And my goodness, what a simple yet incredibly meaningful question this has been for us, for me.
So - ask your child every once in a while what your favorite thing to do is and get a glimpse of life through their eyes. These day to days, these in between moments, that’s how they’ll grow to know us, and it’s so worth putting a little more intention to ❤️

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My sweet little baby, that always corrects me to make sure I know he’s a “big boy.” Day one of preschool was officially the best day of his life; I thought he’d be clung to my leg crying but the only attachment there was was to the swing set when I had to pick him up 🙈 So much of motherhood is us worrying for all the things that can go wrong without leaving room for thoughts of all that can go right. Today was one of those days for me, and it was perfect✨

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This little caramel starts preschool tomorrow and honestly he is so incredibly excited. Us on the other hand? Let’s just say Mathieu and I have already prepared a bag of ice cream and junk food to bring in the car as we wait in the parking lot listening to our emo playlists from highschool. Simple Plan, we’ll see you in the morning 😅 (but really, am I the only one freaking out right now? 🙈)

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Q : Joshua pretending to be sleeping in my bed because...
⋅
a. he shoved 3 whole toilet paper rolls in the toilet 🧻
⋅
b. he drew “big biggggg shapes” on the wall with deodorant 🤦🏼‍♀️
⋅
c. he poured ALL my face serums, shampoo and conditioner down the shower drain😩
⋅
d. all of the above...

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Around this time every year is when I start to fill a whole bunch of virtual shopping carts with fall and winter clothes. All the new on-trend stuff that pinterest whispered I need, the items I have almost an exact same version of already but still somehow justify, the pieces I know I probably will never wear but “this year I want to be a little more daring”, really- a whole bunch of stuff that I absolutely do. not. need. I mean it’s funny when you think about it right? We live in the same exact seasons for years, stay close to the same size, but still we have this tendency to act like we have absolutely nothing. So, instead of saying I won’t get anything this year (because I’ve tried and failed that too many times) I’m reorganizing my closet NOW, before fall even arrives. I’m bringing all the fall and winter things back in and keeping some of my favorite summer pieces like this linen blazer so I can try them all on, make some outfits I feel confident in, and take a mental snap of what I already have and love + what pieces carry over to this years trends. (reminding me of how things look on versus what I image after keeping them on hangers untouched for months)
So if you’re looking to buy less this season, to be more conscious of what you consume or even to save, I think this little extra step could help a lot in focusing on all that you already have instead of all that you ”need” 🥰

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What did you do all summer?
I had a lot ( A LOT) of plans for this little guy. Go to all the museums, get a head start on the school curriculum, read every morning and night, have a set routine in place, and of course, tv only on the rarest of occasions… But you know what happened? None of that (seriously..not even one). We stayed up way too late most nights, spent some days doing a full blown movie marathon with just pizza and snacks, and honestly we didn’t even end up at one museum, heck we only went to the park down the block once. But one thing we did do? We laughed- A LOT. We came up with a secret handshake, we built a blanket cave in mama’s bed every morning, and we took the days as they came. It took me all summer of not checking anything off the list to realize that motherhood is more about how you make your kids FEEL rather than how many things you DO for them. So on the days where nothing goes as planned or the weeks where it’s mostly mornings in and take out for dinner, try to count the laughs and smiles instead of the lists that went unchecked, that’s where their magic is anyways ✨

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